had Duet Superstar auditions today.. now is the time to wait for the judges to call us up. haha. i wonder whether they'll call up those who didnt manage to get thru auditions? haha. my seniors said they have no idea, when i asked them, cos they have always gotten into the finals. so damn hl. haha. and the Esprimere ppl were damn funny. we were so 自high.. saying that all 7 pairs of us will definitely get in and for finals, we can have our very own Esprimere Concert. =.= haha. but i think the comp's gonna bring in more members for us. and i don't like that. i truly dislike changes.. sigh.

anyways, i can pretty much say that joining Esprimere has really made my uni life more colourful. i mean, in a school with no tutorials, how many new friends can you actually make? other than that, cca's now much more meaningful cos im doing sthg i really like - singing. and doing sthg that you are really interested in is really all that matters i guess. but im kinda worried how long this will actually be.. my parents are very disapproving towards my going for singing practices.. trust my mum to say, " 我都觉得你的声音不是很好". sad. i realised they are never encouraging towards the things that i like to do.

piano lesson today was bad. really very stressed. like what my teacher emphasized, i've already skipped three grades.. there's alot things that i lack. some things cant be practised. i have to appreciate it on my own. i wanna get the feel back. sighs.

oh and post css2 syndrome.. this is the song that made me notice Benji!!! Gary's Superman!! sooo cute!!




and his 西界! other than the 走音 at the 假音 part, the rest was well sang! :D okay la, some 低音 flat also. but not bad already. haha :D



you are just another passing figure in my life..

another set of orientation photos! came so late! gRrrr. im gonna kill my seniors!! it so happened that all 3 of us from singing club were in the same og.. and the two photographers who were from singing club kept stalking us!! hahaha. alot unglam photos!! cos i so super sian that they kept appearing. there are actually more photos. some super unglam and some very suggestive, so i shall not upload them!! these few are actually unglam enough le la. :p

having lunch also must disturb! see baobao and my sian faces! haha. sian x1!

some addition game with our legs tied.

sian x2!

sian X3!!! keep taking and taking!! hahaha.

yays done.

we were the fastest grp!! :D

caterpillar game.. so tiring..

seeee.. my ogl and ogmate kept saying my hair too thick.. and the balloon kept dropping!! hahaha.

tired tired..

telematch!!!!! k. this photo can see all the flour le ba? haiz. my face so fat ): and baobao complained that her arm's fat. please la. it's not lorrrr.

anyways!! just finished watching css2 finals!! BENJAMIN'S SO CUTEEE!!!! and he got 40 marks!!! woohoo~ lose also nvm. got 实力 more impt!! yays (:

duet superstar auditions this coming week. sheesh i really no confidence. hope i don't pull my partner down. err what's the correct way of saying that ah? my english sucks. arghhh. wadeva. jiayou jiayou!!

my most hated time of the month has come! my phone bill has finally arrived!! *scrreeeaams* actually i already expected my usage of sms to exceed by ALOT and have already warned my mum bout it last month. but reality hits really hard! when my mum saw the bill yesterday, she was so speechless to say anything that i thought she was going to faint. haha. but yeah, i told her the next month's phone bill wouldnt be that much cos, since the smses are not coming in, there isnt any reason for them to go out yea. *emo emo* )= ha. anyway the phone bill reminded me of how one fine day when seok and i were shopping, she suddenly asked me, "do you know that your SE phone got message counter?" and i was like, "omgawdomgawdomgawd!! tell me where!!" and after i saw the close to 1800 smses, i was totally stunned. or rather, traumatized. hahaha. the last time i hit that amount was probably 4years ago, back in sec3.. hahaha the fear was so immense that i immediately called up my mum to report this deadly news.

oh and btw, your last email did make me feel happier. so i guess this week wouldnt be as bad as expected anymore. im really slowly learning to let go.. haha. (:

“她捂住耳朵，不想听闻他的解释和那数十次的道歉，只是为了保留自己心中完美的他。。。”

had lunch with nigel just now.. that silly boy ( im v tempted to use "stupid" haha but i shall be nice).. he didnt tell me he was having his study break now.. and he came all the way from yishun just to have lunch! i suspect his sole motive was to make me feel guilty. but anyway, he decided to play bball after that. so that rid me of my guilt.. partially la.. haha er zi, jiayou for your last two papers before you enjoy your holidays! it was nice catching up with you (:

and someone intruded into my privacy just now! haha. i just stepped into my flat when i received this phone call saying. "eh open your door. i got sthg for you." and i skeptically opened the door, only to find NOTHING at the door. after scanning the place for sometime, i caught sight of sthg pink lying on the floor outside my malay neighbours' flat. hahahaha. so spoiler la. rmb next time wanna give surprise also must plan properly and observe clearly can. and the fact that the person was actually just at the stairs when i went into my flat is really.. kind scary. stop sneaking around please.. i beg u.. hahaha.

and sthg funny.. found these two pics in my folder..hahaha qimin!!! we have changed quite a fair bit, i suppose? hahaha.

sec 3 or 4?

4 years later.. hahaha.

it's gonna be a super bad week ahead. im prepared. pls be prepared too.

感谢你没让我等太久。。。
我还是会难过。。。
虽然我已经尽量让自己不去想它。。。
连最后一丝希望也都破碎了，我应该有难过的权利吧？
真的很抱歉，就算是一千个或一万个“对不起”也都无法让我的心情平复下来。。。
人们常说：“就让时间冲淡一切”。。。
我想，这也应该是我唯一可以等候的吧？

>.< 洪菽蔚！加油加油！

OHMYGAWD. i was looking thru the pics in my comp when i realised i did not update bout BBPS P3'97 (hahaha) gathering? these are some of the pics!! (((:

group photo with P1-3 form teacher, mrs tan lin fang!! she produced 9 GEP-ers from my class and i think most ppl from my class went on to SAP schools after P6!! anw, she still recognizes us and know our names after like..TEN years?! mygawd.

my clique and what we used to do last time. hahahaha i love you ppl!! (((:

okay and this looks more disgusting than ever. but still, loves!

i've survived two weeks of school now~ and i ought to be revising some topics later since someone's too broke to go shopping with me! ]= come to think of it, as much as i've gotten used to school life, i'm still barely fond of it. i wish there were tutorials so that i can have some "permanent" friends. the friends i have now seem like they are gonna come and go. maybe 3years down the road, i'd realise that i haven made any new friends. haha.

and i really miss the AIG peeps!! Seokhwee, Weijing, Krystal, Priscilla, Huimin and Adila!! i really miss the times we lunched together. i miss having handmade noodles at pub building. and listening to the aunty's "您呢？"s which nv failed to crack us up. and huimin's ban3面加面!! i miss eating emperor chicken at comcentre and then complaining that im sleepy right after that. i miss the kangkong from the malay stall! the stall which vendors always cheat my money!! from giving me the wrong change to charging 50cents for an idiotic hotdog! hahaha. and i miss walking over to the 鱼片米粉 stall whereby the auntie shout, "美女！！要吃鱼片米粉吗？几个，几个？？" like super loudly!? and we'll all be super paiseh, with huimin on the verge of puking. i miss net-sending when we are bored. haha. "net send ssptmp5 who are you?" that was when i was superbly bored. maybe that's why my net send didnt work for a couple of days after that. hahaha kena caught by supervisor, perhaps. and all the times i purposely walk like uber slowly to the toilet and pantry, and then come back uber slowly again, stopping by dajietou's table to crap, then stopping by pris' table, then krystal's, then seok's.. so much so that whenever i got back to my seat, my comp's always in the screensaver mode!! hahaha. *blabber blabber blabber* i could go on and on.. those 2.5months.. can we meet up soooon, please?? >.< you peeps are dearly missed!! ]= ]= ]=

-

再给我多一点时间。。。 再多一点时间就足够了。。。希望我每天早上一醒来， 第一个思念的人，不会是你。。。

watched 不能说的秘密 today! the front part was very sweeeet. haha. i think the incorporation of the "secret" was kinda absurd but okay la, as you continue watching, it's actually worth more than 2.5 stars, in my opinion. haha. yeaa~ and jay's so cute. haha 叶湘伦~ and i think the girl's damn pretty. yepps.

good way to save my smses. but the change is too sudden. haven gotten used to it yet. sighs.

-

她丢了爱的他
心像被针扎
身体无助到想要死掉

雨一直不停下
眼里进了沙
骗自己已没有牵挂

在就要转身前突然又想起你
相遇的那天漾着微笑的你
那个微笑还是很美丽
可惜那个人常常要让人哭泣

太耀眼的城市不适合看星星
就如同你的心不适合谈安定
谢谢你让我伤过心
学会爱情并非执迷
人改变不了改变不了的事情

记得要忘记忘记
我提醒自己
你已经是人海中的一个背影
长长时光我应该要有
新的回忆

人无法决定会为谁动心
但至少可以决定放不放弃
我承认我还是会爱着你
但我将永不再触碰这记忆

记得要忘记忘记
经过我的你
毕竟只是很偶像的那种相遇
不会不容易
我有一辈子足够用来忘记

我还有一辈子
可以用来努力
我一定会忘记你

-

这一次，又得试着忘记。 我真的好白痴啊。哈。 >.<

i should be very glad that you helped me make the decision.. ha, but i am just not. maybe cos i had the answer in my heart all along and this is absolutely not the final result i want. sighs~ was still thinking bout it for the past two days, but looks like my decision's not important anymore.. suddenly thought of what a certain someone told me 4 years ago.. it's like giving a kid an apple and then snatching it away from him. abit shocked.. and then, having the feeling that you've just lost something, someone.. im just so lost. ): but i know i'll be able to get over it very soon. it's not gonna make me sad for long yea. liane, jiayou! :D

to you. don't have to feel guilty ba. some things are just not within our control. though your feeling guilty makes me feel better, haha. kidding. prepare for race ok!! cant wait to see the nerdy you, haha (:

and dixiesngshihan!! it's so odd that you live 2 storeys above and you go to work with my sis everyday but we don't meet each other at all. but im still glad that you were just one sms away when i needed to talk to someone. i know you'll never read this, but still, thanks girl!! ((: *hugs*

chuaqimin!! don't know what to say to you. you were the first one i called the other day. and we always have so much to say to each other. thanks for your reassurance and simply for being there, ALWAYS. (((:

to a certain someone.. though i don't know when im gonna relate all the stuff to you.. haha i think i always sound like i cant be bothered with your efforts.. but dun be lame la (hahahaha like what i always tell you), your efforts are appreciated yea. though your lozenges made me sicker, haha. (:

我想。。。 真正的喜欢是不会因为挫折而放弃的。。。 对吧？

my first week of school's over!! im really super glad i made the decision of going for the camp cos if not for it, i wouldnt have any friends! haha. okay, and joining Esprimere also helped la. Yupp and the occasional surprises of seeing random rv/aj/aig ppl in school really brightened up my first week of being in an unfamiliar environment! :D :D :D

Other than that, im actually quite stressed up!! it's only the first week of school and people are studying after lectures and forming study groups!! ohmygawd la. but i believe it's a good environment for all of us to strive together la. i cant afford to slack anymore. have to buck up le!! esp since i haven taken econs before in jc. and IBM is so.. cheem.

and here comes the time for me to make a decision. not for them. but for myself. this time i'll be extra careful. and be responsible for my own actions. been thinking for the past few days.. sometimes i feel like i don't understand myself anymore. what do i want exactly and what should the next step be.. im very confused. and cos i've vowed to myself not to hurt anyone again, the decision is increasingly difficult to make. should i follow my heart or follow my mind? im stuck. :(